Weakness

[Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "What? Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." ~~Matthew 26:40, 41]

I've felt like Peter so many times in this part of His life, willing to serve, but so fragile and weak when it comes down to forcing my will to go through with it. The physical body has so much more power over us than we like to admit; the Word says we must "conquer the body," yet we continue to let it hold sway over us. Even in little things, like flipping on the television instead of going for a walk around the block, eating one more piece of turkey over Thanksgiving dinner instead of listening to our bulging stomachs...sleeping in just a few minutes longer instead of getting up to read God's Word.

I've been there so many times, and it discourages me.

But, thank the Lord that He gives us a way out. "Watch and pray." It still requires discipline however. Therein lies the problem. We can't push past our apathy without Divine Intervention, and we can't have Divine Intervention without prayer. It's a viscious cycle, in some ways, but we get the easy end of it; all we have to do is cry. Cry out to the God who saves us and Who has promised that "no temptation shall be greater than you can bear." If prayer and discipline was something we couldn't handle, we wouldn't have to. But we have that struggle, so obviously, we can handle it, and we can overcome it. We just have to remember that we can only do so with the help of God, not of our own strength, for our flesh is weak. Thank God that He is strong.

Pride in My Heart

I've leaned so much about pride the past few weeks.
I am really such a prideful person; it really is quite disgusting. I want everything to be perfect, even in my drabblings and musings here...I can't have a single mispelling, even in the word "mispelling". It seems as if everything I do has to reflect tons about who I am. I know that subconsciously and consiously, all that I do is to make sure that I look good. I claim that it is so God will get the glory, but in thinking over it, I don't really think that's the case.

I am a proud person.

There. I said it. It's frustrating to even admit that. :{ I don't want to be. I hate even looking at it.

But, I think it's the truth. I'm stuck on myself. I think my desire to write stems from a source of pride. I want people to read my stuff; I want peope to be influenced by what I think and say. The desire, the motivation, is wrong, or tends to be, at least. I want God to use me in great ways, but that's just it: I want Him to use me. I think way too much of myself. I should instead be saying, "LORD, how can You use me? I'm wretched and I don't deserve Your mercy!"

Please, LORD God, help me to be the humble Christian You call us all to be. Make me to see how weak and frail and undeserving I am, and how little I of myself have to offer. Even my writing needs to be seen as a gift from You, not something of my own making or working. Please, LORD, help me to understand what it is You desire of me, no matter what I have to sacrifice to please You. Please, God, make me as Your humble Son. Show me more of You and more of what it means to be Your servant. Help me to deny myself, take up my cross [daily] and follow You, in loving obedience and humility. Amen, LORD God. May it be.

On Email

“Never check your email before you start reading…There is something in the format of e-mail (its terseness? the sheer volume of messages? its tendency to reward skimming over deep reading?) that pulls the mind away from the contemplative, relaxed frame so important for good reading. If you get good news, you’re distracted by it; if someone writes you a nasty note, you’ll spend the next forty-five minutes mentally formulating blistering replies rather than concentrating on your book. If no one writes at all, you’ll be depressed because you’ve suddenly become invisible in cyperspace.“–Susan Wise Bauer, The Well Educated Mind

This made me laugh! Blistering replies? Overjoyed exuberance? Sudden depression (used mildly) at your own invisibility? :D Okay, I admit it; I have an affinity to this quote. Susan makes her point well (and in an amusing manner at that) about the mental distraction email can be .

In context, Susan is referring ‘reading’ as the intensive study of the classic literature –literature like Plato and his fellow sophists. I find it even more applicable to reading something far more important: God’s Word. We should not just be careful to a set aside time to read and study God’s Word; we should also be vigilant to preserve mental focus for our time alone with our Creator and his Word. After all, His law is perfect, converting the soul, his testimony is sure, making wise the simple, his statues are right, rejoicing the heart, and his commandment is pure, enlightening the eyes…they are more to be desired than gold, yeah, than much fine gold, and they are sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb!* Wow. Think about that!

So, If you’re having trouble concentrating on your Plato after breakfast because you just checked your email, maybe you should think about implementing the mantra Susan presents. Never check your email before reading. But far more importantly, if you’re struggling to focus on the precious, holy Word of God, just because you’re still mentally reeling from your visit to your inbox, then I challenge you. Never check your morning email before your time alone with your Redeemer and His Words of life! In my experience, any efforts to reduce brain traffic before my quiet time in the morning with God and His Word has always been worth it. He is worth it!

*Psalm 19:7,8,10, slightly condensed.

When Leadership Calls You...

I learned something hard today: It isn't always easy to be a leader.

In fact, it's usually rather difficult. You are required to do many things that you may not otherwise be called upon to do. For instance, most leaders must have the ability to guide, or even rebuke, the people under them.

I learned that today, and it's not nearly as easy as it might sound. Especially when you're a Christian, and must deal with all men with love and kindness, and as Christ would.

But Christ did chide His disciples when they needed it. In fact, He even became very harsh with them at certain times, like when they argued over who the greatest of them would be, or when Peter, James, and John slept at the Mount of Olives instead of watching over Him as He asked. It's a difficult and often uncomfortable task, but it is a position that you can learn much from. I have.

When I am afraid...

Ever feel like you've just gotten punched in the gut?

I have. On more than one occassion. Trials swirl around like hurrican-force winds, temptations to defy God and mankind and friends and family all screaming through your mind.... Sometimes, I can just get fed up with it all ... with life.

But I remember the words of Isaiah 41:10: "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

The power of God is a thing not understood, sometimes feared, sometimes beheld by those who trust in Him.... In these times when I fear and doubt, my Father gently chides me to remember Who He is. To remember that He is the God Who, "...has measureed the waters in the hollow of His hand, And marked off the heavens by the span, And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, And weighed the mountains in a balance and the hills in a pair of scales..."

My Father reminds me to "Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, The One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, Not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the LORD, And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God'? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power... those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not grow faint, They will walk and not become weary.".....

May I find the strength to continue to run this race, O LORD, even when I cannot see Your face, for I know You are there behind the clouds, smiling upon me, and holding me in Your arms.
Amen.

The Snare: A Meditation on Gideon

Then Gideon [took the gold and] made it into an ephod and set it up in his city Ophrah. And all Israel played the harlot with it there. It became a snare to Gideon and to his house.... Gideon had seventy sons who were his own offspring, for he had many wives. And his concubine who was in Shechem also bore him a son... (Judges 8: 27, 30-31a)

How easily we can fall! Here, the man God used to bring Israel to victory and bring honor to Him, suddenly falls prey to "selfish ambition and vain conceit," not to mention idolatry of sorts. To make matters worse, he became guilty of polygamy, a thing strictly forbidden in God's Law.

What happened to the stalwart captain and judge of Israel? How is it that a man such as Gideon - even mentioned in the "Chapter of Faith" (Hebrews 11) - could still become ensnared by such gross sins?

As young Christians, we must take care: The enemy preys upon the young and the old. No one is safe from the Devil's temptations and attacks. A Christian's "golden years" should be the most glorious of his life; he has learned, fought, conquered, and now can pass on his wisdom to the following generations. But perhaps this is one of the most dangerous times of life. For here, the temptation to stop fighting, to forget your God is great. There are so many examples of older men and women of the Bible who have fallen in their last days. Solomon, David, Gideon, Aaron, the list goes on.

Oh, young Christian, beware the pitfall of thinking you are safe when you reach "maturity"! The Christian life is always a fight, no matter what the age or experiences. We cannot truly rest until we reach the Land of Rest, but take heart: [the Lord will aid us in the fight,] if we remain true to Him, all the days of our life.

[Remember the Creator of your youth.]

Where God calls us, there is a way.

Tonight as I vacuuming rows and rows of carpet between church pews, I realized something that many of my dreams have in common: people. The age old question that seems to baffles high schoolers as they look toward post graduation of 'what am I going to do?' has certainly perched on my mind too. However, tonight, I realized that I really, really desire to work with people--extensively. Face to face, hand to hand, touching lives as I share with them the hope of Christ. But there's a problem: I don't know that I'm very good at that type of thing. I don't have a lot of experience working with people outside the sphere of my upbringing. I thought of all this tonight as I vacuumed. But I also thought of Moses.

God called Moses to go bring forth the Israelites from captivity to the Egyptians. However, Moses didn't think he had the ability to answer the call of the Lord. He told God: "I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." And how did God answer him? He said, "Who had made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?" Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say. Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say."

I was greatly encouraged by remembering these verses from Exodus, chapter 4 . My weakness is no excuse not to go where God leads. He is our Strength, and He is with us. Certainly, I will pursue where God calls. Where God calls us, there is a way.

Remember that, my friend. Where God calls us, there is a way.